


Experiencing Summer

by AnnetheCatDetective



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Anxiety, Family Relationships - Freeform, Gen, Vignettes, autistic characters, sensory issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:24:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4788839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnetheCatDetective/pseuds/AnnetheCatDetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five vignettes, from Dipper's point of view, covering one very big summer. </p><p>From anxiety over family and friends to sensory integration issues, Dipper overthinks a lot of things, but in the end, no matter how many other friends his sister might make, being a twin comes first, and the family that slays monsters together stays together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experiencing Summer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chibifukurou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibifukurou/gifts).



 

Vignette I- Vacation Planning

 

I don’t really eavesdrop on purpose, when Mom and Dad talk about Parent Stuff. It’s just that… Mabel spends a lot of time in her own world. Sort of, you know, ‘Bleep-bloop, stuffed animal parade!’, and when she’s in there, she doesn’t hear the stuff they talk about, sometimes even when they’re trying to get her attention.

 

And I can sometimes get the same way, when I’m reading, but it’s not really the same, like… sometimes yeah, I get sucked into a good book. Sometimes, though, I’m just reading, and Mom and Dad think I’m totally off in Dipper World. Or… Book World. Or whatever. It’s not even that they don’t think I’m listening, it’s like they think I’m incapable somehow?

 

So I feel weird about listening in because it’s not like I want to  misbehave , but they aren’t even  trying to keep me from hearing and I just want to know what’s going on! That’s not weird, right?

 

Mom and Dad spend every summer vacation trying really hard to make everything go right for us. They never make us feel guilty if we have issues that not every family has to deal with, and they never act like they’re too tired or frustrated to deal with our stuff when they’re in front of us, but they haven’t had a lot of time to themselves basically all our lives. Mom says that isn’t even a ‘special needs’ thing, it’s a ‘having kids’ thing, maybe especially a ‘having twins’ thing, because, like… I don’t think they planned on getting two for one, you know? But they love us and they give up a lot of time and spend a lot of energy on us, and they deserve to… like, get a vacation from being ‘on duty’, I agree with that. And I agree with Dad, saying we’re growing up and getting better at self-monitoring and self-advocating and self-care! I mean, I’m  so grown up! I read at a high school level, the last test I took for it, I mean, I was the high end of the bell curve, you know? And Mabel and I are really good at taking care of each other, we can recognize the signs if one of us is having a sensory overload or just a problem, and we know what to do to help deal with it, so we can totally manage without Mom and Dad!

 

They want to go on this couples’ retreat deal, though, and the problem is finding relatives who will take us for the whole amount of time that they’re going to be totally out of contact, and…

 

Ugh, I mean, I get it. It’s not like all our relatives think Mabel and I are weird creepy little goblin children that they don’t want to deal with, it’s just that they don’t want to be responsible for us when our parents can’t come get us if something goes wrong, that’s a lot to ask I guess. 

 

I kind of wish I was in Dipper Book World. When I’m reading about the kind of things I’m really interested in, it happens, but I’m studying the stuff I need to study, not the stuff I want to study, and so I hear everything, and I just feel so… weird. Guilty, kind of? Even though no one’s saying it’s our fault they can’t find a solution, or even that it’s because we’re ‘special needs kids’, and I hate that phrase and I hate the way everyone says it, soft and quiet and with this tone like… I don’t know, it feels disingenuous, like they think somehow it’s kinder than saying ‘disabled’ or-- or heck, just ‘Autistic’, I mean, let’s call it what it is here because it’s not like we don’t know, and it’s not like other kids are kinder when you say ‘special needs’!

 

Dad has an uncle that I don’t remember even meeting, though, who he said sounded excited to have us visit for the summer, and who wasn’t worried or anything, and… I mean, I guess it’s good? It means going to Oregon. And Mom wants to hold out to see if her parents can take us, but it doesn’t exactly sound like they’ll be able to, and they can’t dither forever if they want to get into this retreat deal, and I should be excited, maybe, I’m just… not.

  
\---/-/---

 

Vignette II- Friends

 

Soos is, like, the coolest guy I know. Maybe the coolest guy I’ve ever met. He doesn’t act like I’m some cute precocious kid, or like I’m annoying because I’m younger, or because I’m, I dunno, pedantic. He acts like I’m cool. He likes dinosaurs, and he can fix basically anything, and he seems to think that Grunkle Stan is a good guy, which is reassuring, since we’re stuck here for the summer.

 

I mean, Stan is…

 

Well, I don’t know. It’s weird getting to know older relatives you’ve never met before, and Stan doesn’t act like how Mabel and I expected, when we heard we had a great uncle who wanted to take us in. Like, he kind of uses us for child labor, but… not in a bad way.

 

Well, okay, maybe a slightly shady way, but he also lets us stay up late and he’s not super strict about too many things, and he seems all right, and I think that we’ll just keep getting used to things and be okay. Mabel actually already seems used to things. Mabel also likes Stan a lot, and she loves the attic of the Mystery Shack, and she’s really into the fact that there’s a goat wandering around, and she doesn’t think all the weird stuff in this town is scary, she just thinks being here is great.

 

Not that I don’t agree, because okay, yeah, I’ve always wanted to be one of those guys on the paranormal reality shows, hunting ghosts or whatever, and Gravity Falls doesn’t just have boring, run of the mill hauntings, Gravity Falls has actual monsters, like… stuff I’ve never seen before, stuff I don’t think any of the guys on the ghost hunting shows have ever dealt with! So it’s not that I’m scared, it’s just that I take these things very seriously, and Mabel doesn’t take it quite so seriously, she...

 

Mabel has friends here already.

 

Mabel has, like, friends our own age, who all like karaoke and weird boy bands and… ugh,  bare-chested wolfmen , and I know I’ve got Soos and he’s a really cool guy, and Wendy’s okay with letting me hang out with her and her friends, and that feels great, but I can’t always hang out with that crowd, and Mabel…

 

Just, it’s different. Candy and Grenda are our age, and I’ve never been able to make friends our own age, not back home, and not here. I mean, there are guys my age around town, and I think Mabel’s had a crush on every single one of them, and some of them are tourists just passing through anyway, but, like… 

 

I don’t know. I haven’t really bothered talking to any of them. I haven’t wanted to. I just wanted things to be like they always are, with me and Mabel, and Soos is friends with both of us, and we both get to hang out with Wendy’s friends, and it’s like… 

 

All my friends are  our friends, but Mabel’s friends are Mabel’s friends. Maybe I never used to care that much about ‘going out and making friends your own age’, but I kind of wish things were just the same as they always were. 

  
\---/-/---

 

Vignette III- Sensory Integration

 

One of the nice things about Gravity Falls is the weather-- it gets pretty hot sometimes, I mean, it is summer, but it usually doesn’t get as hot as it does back home.

 

I mean, it’s still so hot I don’t know how Mabel can stand to wear those sweaters every day, but I guess I also know how she can’t stand  not  to. Last year, I had this big heavy coat that I’d wear every day, I mean, I wouldn’t take it off. I got heat exhaustion when spring rolled around! But it was just… comfortable. And not having it on wasn’t comfortable. The coat was safe, and it was big, and it was heavy, like it was substantial. And so much other stuff, you could put it on but it wouldn’t feel real, it wouldn’t feel right.

 

My vest is still pretty warm, when it’s really hot out, but all the trees mean the woods are usually cooler than not being in the woods. Mom and Dad found the vest, last spring when I was still trying to wear my coat all day every day, but it was Mabel who really fixed it. She sewed these pie weights into it-- like, these little strings of metal balls. So every puffed out row of the vest has these little metal balls all the way around, and it’s actually way better than the coat was. Like, you put it on and you can just really feel it, it keeps you grounded.

 

Mabel’s sweaters are like that, for her. It’s not weight, I mean, but it’s something. It’s having something that feels right, that makes  you feel more like yourself. They all look different, but they all feel the same-- or mostly the same-- and none of them have tags because she makes them, so there’s nothing bad sticking at the back of your neck distracting you all day. And, like, there’s something comforting about being able to wear the same thing every day, you know how it feels. There’s no surprises and nothing can be uncomfortable, because it’s just the same as yesterday.

  
\---/-/---  
  


Vignette IV- Sensory Integration 2

 

I really hate showers. 

 

Like, can I skip puberty and just have a deep voice and the right amount of facial hair and be really tall and have muscles, but without… sweat?

 

Is there a way to just not sweat?

 

Probably that would kill me, actually, but oh man, it would be sweet, wouldn’t it? No sweating, no showering? And no deodorant! It feels weird and the smell gives me a headache, but, like, oh no, puberty! Suddenly you’re moist everywhere and it’s gross and it’s all of a sudden a problem that you wear the same clothes every day because you might sweat in them!

 

It’s a natural, manly musk! It doesn’t have to be a bad thing!

 

I just…

 

I don’t like how the water beats down on you, it’s like all these little pin-pricks and it gets in your face all the time, and the temperature doesn’t just stay the same, and you have to stand around naked while it happens, I don’t like it!

 

Then when you get out, suddenly the air feels different all around you and you’re still naked, and you’re supposed to smear this gross paste under your arms to cover up the fact that you’ll eventually smell like a human being again with some weird, gross, manufactured smell.

 

I don’t mind swimming, even though when you get out of the water, you still have to deal with being wet but not actually being in water. But it’s different, and I can deal with it, I mean it’s still the worst part of swimming, but it’s not horrible, the way getting out of the shower is horrible.

 

Not being naked probably helps, I don’t like how it feels. It feels all vulnerable. Even running around in a loincloth is better than getting out of the shower naked, I mean, no one sees you running around in the woods in a loincloth except for some minotaurs, and minotaurs don’t count.

 

Well I guess no one sees you getting out of the shower naked, unless the lock on the door doesn’t work, except next year when we start showering after gym class, and that’s not gonna happen, I can tell you right now. 

 

Maybe Wendy will lose her sense of smell in a tragic accident and it won’t matter if I don’t shower every week.

  
  
\---/-/---  
  


Vignette V- Family

 

Great Uncle Ford likes Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons as much as I do.

 

Also, I’m kind of still freaking out because he’s The Author, he’s the author of the journals that my life has basically been revolving around all summer, and he’s into all the paranormal stuff I’m into, and he’s into science, and he’s so, so smart, and he’s related to us, he’s our other great uncle, and I could grow up to be just like him!

 

Mabel was upset at first, about Stan and Ford and how they didn’t talk for so long, but I mean, not that part. Other than that part, I would be totally happy if I grew up like Ford, because we have so much in common, and, I mean, jeez, what if he is like Mabel and me, what if he could understand all of that stuff, too? Stuff Mom and Dad try really hard to understand, but they never can.

 

It would just be so good to have a grown up who got me. Soos kind of does, I mean… and Soos took us in when we lost the shack, Soos… Soos is kind of family and he kind of gets it, but this is different, and it would just feel really good. I want to open up to someone about how some foods and smells and sounds turn my stomach and how I don’t feel okay without my vest on, and how there are textures and sensations that make my skin crawl, and have that person tell me they know just what I mean.

 

The more we grow up, the more Mabel’s sensory issues are different from mine, and the way she socializes-- or tries to-- is so different from me, and she’s the best friend I’ve ever had, hands down, she’s always understood me better than anybody else could. I just think it would be great, to have someone who understands the parts that she doesn’t.

 

I just hope that by the time summer is over, all of us can maybe be a family who gets along and gets each other. I think I want that even more than all the monster-hunting… for everyone in the shack to be the kind of family who understands. And not just the family-family, but Soos and his grandma, and Wendy, and Candy and Grenda, and I guess McGucket, and even Pacifica, I mean, if she wanted to be. Because her family is kind of awful, so… I mean, maybe there are a lot of people in Gravity Falls who’d be happier if they were a part of this one. This weird, lumpy, pulled-together family made up of people who just want to get each other as much as possible.

  
But we could totally also be the kind of family who hunts monsters together.


End file.
